Widowhood – Light shrouded in darkness
It took me a long time to consider this post which bears my personal reflections so far in my few months of journey in widowhood. Some of these just came to light as the Lord spoke and dealt with my loneliness and loss. Here goes:
Release – Don’t fight your grief
The first thing a grieving person encounters in the face of deep personal loss is the grief and pain that keeps surfacing every now and then. Learning to accept all these emotions and make it an integral part of my life is foundational to moving forward. My life with Cheryl had shaped me to be person I am now; there is no undoing. Hence there is no need to fight and try to block out all the emotions that come along with the loss. Facing this squarely and courageously frees and propels me forward in my life.
Relation – Don’t look for empathy
As the emotions surface, there is a nagging need to share with others. When relating to others, I have an inevitable desire to share my inner thoughts and struggles because I long to connect. Having lost a lifelong companion, this is quite understandable. I have also realised that only the widowed are able to relate to my deepest fears, doubts and thoughts. So to look for others to empathize with me in my grief journey has become a futile exercise.
Reliance – Do keep company with God
With no one to turn to, it may be reasonable to look for a companion or perhaps a soulmate for a stronger connection, but this would be somewhat premature if my inner issues are still unresolved. A wrong connection may result in disappointment, disillusionment, or dejection. Over time, God had to remind me repeatedly the importance of turning to the only Person who is the most reliable to unload all my feelings and thoughts. GOD Himself. He says, keep company with me.
“To grant those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the cloak of praise instead of a disheartened spirit. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” – Isaiah 61:3